Doitsu, Where Are You?
by Hamano Chiaki
Summary: Doitsu is missing! What is Feliciano going to do? Somewhat crackish one-shot! WARNING: Flashing of briefs and boxers, slight Pokemon reference, Kiku bashing! :O I don't mean any hate on the singer! R&R!


**Mufufufu~ Hetaaalliaaaaaaa~~ ^^ My 27th fic! Can you believe this! :O This is rather random-ish and crackish :O Tell me, does Germany have a stick from his childhood?I've read about it in a few fics, but does it exist? :O Oh, I don't mean any hate on Jason Derulo here~ Anyway, enjoy~**

Doitsu, Where Are You?

One Kiku Honda barely evades as a mallet comes flying from Ludwig's bedroom. An angry looking cube comes flying next, forcing Kiku to duck before it hits him, cursing in what seems to be German. Kiku frowns as said cube crashes into the pile of junk that is miraculously upright and not on the verge of toppling on the Japanese nation.

A round blob comes bouncing out of the room, tears running down its "face" as it calls, "Doitsu! Doitsu!", in a squeaky voice. Kiku raises an eyebrow, recognizing the blob as a mochi. Although he loves eating mochi, he has other important issues to handle, a.k.a flying projectiles, and he wouldn't eat a talking-bouncing mochi.

"Ludwig-san? What's happe-"

Before Kiku can finish his question, a piece of cloth is thrown at his face. He pulls it off of his face, eyeing it suspiciously. He pales drastically when he recognizes it, with its patched up holes and dull color. He flings it aside, cold sweat dripping down his face as he shrieks,

"It's Ludwig-san's boxers that Roderich (Austria) patched up!"

The Japanese nation feels faint at having touched a very private piece of clothing and falls over, a digital box reading, "Ludwig's underwear is super effective! One hit K.O.!". It is a regular occurrence around Kiku with his quick modernization in technology.

"Doitsu? Where are you~?"

One Feliciano Vargas can be seen tossing things out of Ludwig's closet, sending the once neatly folded clothes into a disarray. He picks up an odd stick, not recognizing it as Ludwig's precious "Schitcky" friend from his childhood, before tossing it too.

When the closet is empty, Feliciano pouts before collecting the clothing and dumping them messily into the closet once more. _Now, he can't have Doitsu going into a fit just because he messed up his room while looking for him!_ Once the clothing is stuffed into the closet, Feliciano moves on to the next item.

_Ludwig's comfy bed._

The Italian nation scrutinizes the bed, rubbing his chinas if deep in thought. Before you can say, "PASTAAA~", Feliciano finds himself bouncing on the bouncy mattress.

"Hmm, Doitsu is not hiding in the bed either. Where could he be? I want to share my pasta with him~!"

Feliciano hops off of the bed, crouching to look under the bed. However, he is discouraged before he glimpses under the bed. _What if there is a monster that steals all of pasta and won't share? Oh, he can't have that happening!_ Mustering all the courage the carefree Italian has in him, he looks under, one of Ludwig's wursts in his hands. _If there is a monster, he could offer one of the wursts that Ludwig insists on eating as a treaty with his pasta!_

Nothing but absolute darkness greets the brunet, disappointing him at the prospect of not making one extra friend. Feliciano picks himself up, pocketing the wurst, as he exits the bedroom with his curly ahoge drooping low. With a yelp, he trips over something solid. _Doitsu?_

He quickly picks himself up and spots a pair of legs sticking out from under a pile of junk. _Could it be Ludwig?_ Feliciano pulls the legs out, only to be disappointed when he reveals an unconscious Kiku. The Italian pouts at the raven-haired nation before pulling him aside and away from the hallway.

"Ve~ I wonder if it's more comfortable to sleep under all that junk."

Feliciano pats Kiku on the head, not noticing the forgotten pair of boxers lying forlornly at the entrance to Ludwig's bedroom. Then, the Italian goes on his journey, looking for Ludwig.

xx

Whilst Feliciano looks under rocks and breaks locks for Ludwig, a somewhat off-pitched voice reaches his ears.

"I've been looking under rocks and breaking locks. Just trying to find y-"

"I'm the one doing that, you meanie!" Feliciano yells at the singer, pouting at him until said singer is gone from sight. Then, the nation returns to flipping over small pebbles, in hopes of finding his favorite German.

"Doitsuuuu! Where are you!?"

xx

Ludwig massages his temples, his head throbbing from the terrible headache he's been experiencing all morning. Perspiration trickles down his bulky frame as he jogs, clothed in his usual tank top and track bottoms. His blond hair is slicked back in a messy fashion, odd strands sticking out.

As he nears the home the Axis Powers nations occupy, he frowns at the eerie silence and chilly atmosphere. _Surely, nothing drastic like a war had broken out while he was away, did it?_ He walks up the stone path and pushes the double doors open, the doors creaking as he does so. A chilly breeze blows at him, fixing his blond hair and sending cold chills down his spine.

"Kiku? Feliciano?"

The German takes a couple of steps into the house, his boots crunching the fallen debris. He looks into the kitchen, an odd sight lacking one Feliciano Vargas and the scent of pasta. Next, he moves towards the living room, finding a tall pile of junk in the corner of the messy room. Half of the junk tower seems to have fallen over, the fallen ones have been altered and moved.

"Hallo?"

His eyes narrow when he realizes the trail of junk lead to his bedroom. He creeps as quietly as a bulky German like him can go, his confusion arising at the sight of an unconscious Kiku propped up against the wall of the corridor. He rushes of to the Japanese nation, shaking him awake.

"Kiku, what happened here?"

"Shi... tagi... (underwear)"

Ludwig frowns at the groggy raven, not understanding what he had just mentioned. He shakes Kiku hard, giving the man a shock.

"Verdammt! You're speaking in Japanese, Kiku!"

"S-shitagi!"

Kiku points towards Ludwig's bedroom, said German looking over the pair of boxers that lies forlornly on the floor. He puts Kiku down, who has gone down under once more at the sight of the boxers on the floor. Ludwig creeps up his bedroom doorway, only to face palm at the sight before him.

"Dummkopf, making me worry for no reason!"

Feliciano is sleeping on Ludwig's bed, the covers sprawled everywhere and the pillows thrown on the floor. Feliciano's always been an active sleeper, kicking everything off of the mattress. Ludwig picks the pillows up, tossing them onto the bed and on Feliciano.

"Mpmh..!"

The brunet sits up abruptly as the pillow makes contact with his face, interrupting his siesta. He rubs his eyes as he yawns, the room somehow dark. _Had he fallen asleep until late?_

"Dummkopf, what are you doing in my room?"

Brown eyes widen as they look up, gazing into stern blue ones of the blond that stands before him. Ludwig is slightly unnerved as Feliciano continues to stare at the German. However, he is brought out of his misery when said brunet hugs the blond tightly.

"Doitsu~! You're back! I was so worried when I came and you weren't here, and I wanted to share my pasta with you but I ate it all, and- mph hmp fmph!"

Ludwig has a hand placed over the rambling Italian's mouth, halting his words. _The entire house is mess, because he was looking for him?_ Ludwig isn't sure if he should jump for joy or lecture Feliciano for not searching then cleaning up after him.

"Just make some pasta, I'll be down when I'm out of the shower..."

"Pastaaa~"

xx

Ludwig raises an eyebrow at the pair of boxers at his doorway as he stands in his towel, giving the recently conscious Kiku an eyeful of his muscled torso and causing the Japanese nation to faint once more. He picks up his boxers, cringing when he realizes it is the one Roderich had insisted on patching up for him.

"That dummkopf, patching up my boxers..."

Ludwig reaches and pulls at his closet's door knob, then it is dark.

xx

"Doitsu~ Doitsu~ Pasta's ready!"

When Feliciano doesn't get a response, he becomes worried. He nibbles on the wooden spoon, one hand fiddling with the hem of the white apron he has donned on for cooking. He rushes up the stairs, jumping over the recently awoken Kiku, flashing his briefs from under the loose pair of shorts. The poor Japanese nation faints for the umpteenth time today with a "Feliciano used Flash! It is super effective!" hovering above his head.

"Doitsu? EEEEKKK!"

A pair of bare feet under a pile of clothing and an odd stick sticking out at the top greets the shrieking Italian.

"Dooiiiittssssuuuuuu!"

**"The Closet used Dump! It is super effective!"**

**THE END**

Please review, minna-san! ^^


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